Monday, November 30, 2015

Alone, but not with you


Trapped in this cage,
you put me into.

Feels like hell,
but in color.

Tastes
of resentment
and bitter. 



Mum, they don't like me,
the way you made me.

Mum, they don't love me,
the way you shaped me.

Mum, they go away,
like you did,
when I was only 3.

Mum, they don't accept me,
no one ever has,
not even me.

you?

Mum, I lost him,
because I didn't believe
that I deserve him.

Mum, you taught me,
that love is what you see
and I was always in the dark
for you.

Mum, I'm fat.
Mum, I'm failing.
Mum, I'm getting old.
Mum, you never gave me a chance,
Like you never gave one yourself,

Mum, I can't stay in this room,
with you.

I need to breathe,
the air of freedom,
I've craved since I was 16.

Mum, one day I'll break the shackles,
and see your prison
from afar.

You don't deserve me.
But you deserve peace.

I just can't stay,
here,
next to you,
while you're dying inside.

Mum, you'll be disappointed in me,
but it won't be the first time. 

Mum, I am a flower.
And you hid the sun.

You never let me grow,
You were afraid of what I would 
turn out to be.

Mum, blame it on me,
But set me free.




Sunday, November 29, 2015

Sunday

My life is not interesting anymore. I have lost any kind of will to live and do something. Everything feels purposeless. I don't know how I will go on.

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Yoga Afterpost

Soon enough I'll live somewhere else.
Soon enough I'll have a lot of money.
Soon enough I'll have you.
Soon enough I'll be somewhere else.
Soon enough I'll have peace.