UDK

You cannot tell me if I can study or not UDK Berlin.

You cannot judge if I sacrificed my whole life for design.

You cannot tell me how to live my life.

My heart wants what it wants.

If I want to be a designer, I will be a designer, either you want it or not.

Maybe not in you, but somewhere else. I'll find my harbour.

Maybe one day, you will be insignificant, and getting rejected from you will not mean anything.

Maybe one day, life will seem much better far away from Kleistpark.

Let me tell you this.

It is not over. It's never been. You fucked me up and made feel worthless, but you are nothing but another school.

I am better.

I am me.

I am here.

And I will never give up.

Never.

Alone, but not with you

Trapped in this cage,
you put me into.

Feels like hell,
but in color.

Tastes
of resentment
and bitter. 

- 

Mum, they don't like me,
the way you made me.

Mum, they don't love me,
the way you shaped me.

Mum, they go away,
like you did,
when I was only 3.

Mum, they don't accept me,
no one ever has,
not even me.

you?

Mum, I lost him,
because I didn't believe
that I deserve him.

Mum, you taught me,
that love is what you see
and I was always in the dark
for you.

Mum, I'm fat.
Mum, I'm failing.
Mum, I'm getting old.
Mum, you never gave me a chance,
Like you never gave one yourself,

Mum, I can't stay in this room,
with you.

I need to breathe,
the air of freedom,
I've craved since I was 16.

Mum, one day I'll break the shackles,
and see your prison
from afar.

You don't deserve me.
But you deserve peace.

I just can't stay,
here,
next to you,
while you're dying inside.

Mum, you'll be disappointed in me,
but it won't be the first time. 

Mum, I am a flower.
And you hid the sun.

You never let me grow,
You were afraid of what I would 
turn out to be.

Mum, blame it on me,
But set me free.

Sunday

My life is not interesting anymore. I have lost any kind of will to live and do something. Everything feels purposeless. I don't know how I will go on.

Yoga Afterpost

Soon enough I'll live somewhere else.

Soon enough I'll have a lot of money.

Soon enough I'll have you.

Soon enough I'll be somewhere else.

Soon enough I'll have peace.

Σε έχασα, Βασίλη.

Νοιώθω πως δεν με ξέρω πια,

τελευταία δεν ειμαι ο εαυτός μου.

Σε έχασα, Βασίλη. Και ποιός ξέρει πού θα σε συναντήσω.

Berlin

Your comfort zone is fake
Your comfort zone is fake
Your comfort zone is fake
Your comfort zone is fake
Your comfort zone is fake
Your comfort zone is fake
Your comfort zone is fake
Your comfort zone is fake

Everything is fake
The way you portray things is fake
People are fake
Food is fake
Everything is fake
Unless you make it real




What if I start today doing the things my soul craves?

Moritz

I'm glad you finally found someone that can accept the love you have to give.
You know I couldn't.
I pushed you away because I hate myself
I actually think I'm terrible sometimes
I grew up thinking I'm terrible
People told me I am terrible
My parents told me I am terrible
School told me I am terrible
Society told me I am terrible
Until this message was saved into me

I became terrible
I started seeing myself as terrible

There was a time that I loved myself a bit more.
That's when I met you
I thought it could be different
I could be loved
and I let you love me for a while

But that all became too much
Ghosts from the past came back to haunt me
and tell me that I'm terrible
Voices in my head saying that I don't deserve you
Or your love
And I pushed you away

We only receive the love we think we deserve,
and I thought I deserve zero

I knew you would go away to love someone else,
A voice inside me was hoping for that
so that I don't have love anymore
so that I'm back to what I know
being terrible
That's well known; it's safe

Why do I miss you?
Because you were the only person that showed me
that I can be loved
for the first time in my life.

I know there might come others,
who knows?
but you were the first,
and I will never forget that.

A part of me wants to wait forever,
Until you're back,
Moritz.

The first person that ever
dared to love.
the little scared snail in me.

And another part of me,
wants to save your memory
in a treasure box,
and move on.