edge of nineteen.

im on my edge. im about to turn 20 (in some months)
it feels so weird. it feels so unsafe. it feels so not me.
im not any typical teenager. it's not that i have been living as an immature kid rolling around and being free. it's not that i have been being a true 18yo having fun and living my life. It's that I've been dreaming of a life so different;so pure. And I didnt accomplish a thing..or maybe that's all in my head.

What makes us full? Fullfilling a role? a standard? a stereotype? I don't want that, even though it feels so damn safe. It wouldnt be true;it wouldnt be me. My personality is there..and it can shine on it's own.

"maybe one day..

i'll wish of you and me. together. all i can think of this you and me doing the things i wanna do. all i imagine is heaven on earth, i know it's you. anyone who ever kissed in the rain knows the whole meaning."
Roxette