this is too deep...

just too deep.
Im bored/sick/tired of staying up late, thinking about myself and my parents. I hate eating a lot. I hate being bored and not doing my homework. I hate not going to the gym.
Life is not that bad. Think of the good things is something one would say. I have to focus on the positive things in my life. Erase the past..or better deal with it.I've been through a lot, i've survived all things. I was down, now Im going up.
Damn i hate all this drama.....ive always been a positive guy. I hate depression, its final. =P
Lately, ive been skipping classes. All i want to do is sleep in the morning. That's because i stay up late thinking and thinking. IM DONE THINKING. Its useless.
Im bored of this. I will write more later.
xxx<3

3am

Hey there!
Its saturday night. Im here writing stuff on my blog. I love my blog, it makes me feel safe.
Tomorrow, im hosting a party for my friends. I have cooked so many things, i hope everything will go great. I want it to!
I will describe how this went later.^^
Last night we went to kouklaki, it was fun but expensive.*ouch* lol.
Anws, i dont feel that much creative right now, so im gonna head to bed.<3
x

Where is the love?

Its been a while since I last posted here. Been here and there, my laptop is crashed, my life is getting better.
I decided to add a walk to my daily routine. Its good for my health.my body and much better for my spirit. I get the chance to think..of myself, my problems, my life, my attitude, my parents.
This semester I thought I should put some effort on my studies. I've neglected it for a whole year. Its time for my comeback.^^
I seriously love my friends. I love everyone I can share things with. My problem is that when someone comes really close to me and wants to help me. Then I try to push him aside. =/ I dunno why. Or maybe i know...maybe I simply dont want to be saved. Sometimes I feel like I dont deserve to. Blaming me for all these years won't go away that easily.
I think Im really really romantic. I would wait for the right person to come; dedicate songs on the phone; give flowers xD. I wanna fly away..with the one I love. with the one I dream of. and never come back.
Sometimes I dont put much effort on my friendships. I would love to have a best friend. But I dont..meaning someone that you can tell anything and have a brother-relationship. I love some of my friends, but we dont have that kind of relationship. And my Telly is far far away. Although he's always in my <3.
I wanna share love. Come and get me. Hurry up!

Thank You

how 'bout getting off of these antibiotics
how 'bout stopping eating when i'm full up
how 'bout them transparent dangling carrots
how 'bout that ever elusive kudo

thank you india
thank you terror
thank you disillusionment
thank you frailty
thank you consequence
thank you thank you silence

how 'bout me not blaming you for everything
how 'bout me enjoying the moment for once
how 'bout how good it feels to finaly forgive you
how 'bout grieving it all one at a time

thank you india
thank you terror
thank you disillusionment
thank you frailty
thank you consequence
thank you thank you silence

the moment I let go of it was the moment
i got more than i could handle
the moment I jumped off of it
was the moment I touched down

how 'bout no longer being masochistic
how 'bout remembering your divinity
how 'bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out
how 'bout not equating death with stopping

thank you india
thank you providence
thank you disillusionment
thank you nothingness
thank you clarity
thank you thank you silence
ohohh..

First day at school/Comeback

Today. First day at school. New year, new semester, same people,
same places, almost same subjects. My school started and what am I? 
thrilled....
Words like violence break my silence.. i saw today people i had forgotten 
they even still breathed. lol.
Im happy school starts cuz im gonna spend more time with my friends.
I decided not to underestimate myself. my personality. my abilitities..
i know i can be better than anyone there.
Im so sleepy right now. I almost didnt sleep at all last night. I think im getting insomniac..
gotta take care of this as well alongside bulimia and depression. Riiiiiight...=P
My HP laptop truly sucks.. its worse than i thought. And problems just keep popping up.
I need to cut my hair. Its kinda emoish now and I dont like them. I want to lose 20kg till Christmas. I think I may have to start going to the gym again.  Yeh yeh it sucks but its the only damn way, alongside diet of course. I want to impress some people but most of all i want to impress my self. Show me that I still CAN. I still have the POWER, I've always had. Its there, nothing has touched it. Billy's back, so back off.

This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!

 

my dream

Its sunday evening. I just had tons of sleep..i saw two dreams.............
First one was kind of a thriller so Im not gonna discuss it..it was lame and scary :P [damn you Samara]
Second one...was really really important.....
I dreamt of.......well, we were in a house that was supposed to be the one we're living nowadays...then 2 girls and 1 boy were there. They were my siblings..they had gone in the past due to family problems......and I almost didnt remember anything about them..just slight images at the back of my mind......I felt so nice that I finally had brothers and sisters....they we shared the exact same problems.....oh it felt so nice. And yeh they were cool! Especially my blonde sister who had left home at 18, and continued on her own........i dont remember much about the others..
but i wish this was true....i would so love it if i had siblings....
anyway, im still alone and i just woke up so i might need some breakf...erm..dinner.
luv ya all

Saima's Party (preparations)

Helloo!
Well tonight's the party of my friend, Saima. I love her and wish 
her the best! 
It was her birthday day some days ago. <3
There are gonna be many people there. 
Friends and people I don't know. I really hope we're 
gonna have a blast, although Im kinda anxious. Im gonna meet some friends I havent seen in a very long time. 
Like Vicky, Artemis, Maria and others. <3>
Well Im gonna stay cool - have fun - rock-my-fella!
Evaa is gonna come with me. Gardenia too. lol.

Im gonna report the party tomorrow!

Cheers!

bad day : /

Well..today was supposed to be a great day..i had planned to go shopping with my friend Eva at syntagma (Athens downtown). Our meet up was scheduled for 12. Then Eva called me and told me that last night she was drunk and blah blah blah and in other words that she couldnt come. I was sad and dissapointed because I had rescheduled my whole day for it. But ok i thought this could happen to anyone..so I wasnt that mad or anything..

I called my friend John, and asked him to come for a coffee at syntagma. I didn't want to go back home that early. He accepted. I would have to wait for him for about 45 mins so I decided to check out some shops and take a walk. Then I realised that this day, several strikes were scheduled, by teachers and students. The noise, the dirt and the traffic was unbelievable. :/ I dont really love the city anyways. Athens is very polluted and overcrowded.

Anyway, after about 1 hour, and my friend John being kinda late, I ran into my friend Aggela, right outside McDonald's. I hadn't seen her in ages..We had planned over the summer that after the exams of september (we are in the same school) we would start working together, in Altec telecomms. Then Aggela told me that yesterday she signed up for another job with 2 friends of her. I was completely shocked. I felt so bad. :/ kinda used.. All my plans for my job were ruined in a minute.

Then my friend John came, and we decided to walk and talk. We went to starbucks for a frappucino. It was propably the best moment of this bad day. We walked and walked and I ran into a drug user that I knew from another bad experience (he had asked for some of my money some days ago, and I refused.. then he tried to punch me and etc).He was asking for money once again..of course I refused. But I was scared.

Later we walked a bit more and then we had lunch at Goody's. It was so hot..I was sweating all over, my hair was messy with yesterday's gel and I felt so bad.. :/At the end of the skyline I found myself at home, having tons of homework for tomorrow, being dirty and so not cheerful about what happened.. I guess everything that happens, happens for a reason. I may just had a bad day..

hello ^_^

guys. friends. boys and girls.
I finally decided to start posting and blogging my news and anything that's up on my mind here. :)
Its September, teh weather is getting cold, and it seems like soon I will have to reschudule my everyday life. I wanna start jogging soon, and do some sit ups (Beccz, looks like im gonna follow your advice ^^). School is starting soon, its gonna be hard and somehow not that interesting. I miss some of my old friends. I also miss my high school life. lol, yeh I know it sounds kind of stupid, but I was used to this way of life.school,friends,fun. Now, all im doing is sleep, and talk to my parents. blaaah.
I need to get a job soon. Get money and be more independent. Im gonna go search for a job, as soon as my exams end.
Im bored now. I dont know what to do. Im not really in the mood for homework, although i should put some effort in it, to replace this past year. I also need to have a haicut soon.lol.
Today, Im gonna meet up with a net friend, John. Aris, Eva and propably Bagel are gonna be there too. I've missed them. hehe. We're going to starbucks in Omonoia.
Athens is a weird city. People can be wonderful and smiling, but yet whiny, arrogant and in a total bad-greek mood. That's lame sometimes. I guess I shouldnt care that much about Athenians.
I hope the weather gets cold cold and snow comes here soon. Its so soothing. I love going out there with my friends when it snows.
My friend Vasso, is propably come back from Lesvos where she studies, today. Im happy about this. Ive missed her. =]
I saw a dream two days ago. It was weird. I was with my friend Billie and Gardenia. We were magicians! It was cool. Me and Gardenia were flying over a hotel, looking like Hogward's, and it felt so nice. =]
Telly and Rebecca are two of the people on this earth that I love and always will. May they be by my side forever. Love you guys.
I think Im gonna take off now. Do something more interesting.
bb.thanx for reading this.

Billy.